If You Hate Laughter, Click Back

I promise, you will not hear . . . er, read me use the words 'dudes,' 'shoot,' and 'you' in the same sentence for at least the next two posts. Word is bond.

Anyway, as my family can attest, I am a huge fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000, even after the original team was scattered to the four winds. A good couple of Thanksgiving holidays featured parents trying to convince me to stop watching Comedy Central marathons of the show. At long last, through some dark alchemical procedure, the hilarious approach of MST3K has been applied to an often-mocked corner of the gaming landscape: overlong and overwrought cinematics. Check out this and these to live your fantasy of ruining poignant moments and jeering awful dialogue.

Game well, and try to keep your nostrils soda-free.

Look Ma -- No Vertigo!

The past week has been spent hurtling around a fantastical realm which may, in a place or two, resemble Persia. Ubisoft's latest addition to the Prince of Persia franchise addresses one of the biggest issues I have had with Mirror's Edge: the game seems to know its own identity. Guiding Faith around the rooftops of her dystopian city is by no means an unpleasant experience, but bits of its structure seem at odds with each other. Most of the time, the player in Mirror's Edge is driven by flow and momentum, and at its wallrunning and speedvaulting best, adrenaline does indeed get pumping. In the opposite corner is an exploratory element that tasks you with finding manbags which someone has scattered about the city. The search for these satchels, at least at my current level of progress in the game, bludgeon the aforementioned parkour model by slowing you down. Methodically searching an environment for objects while dudes shoot at me (and trust me, dudes will shoot at you) is not a heart-fluttering thrill ride. I tried to ignore the silly things and concentrate on the running and the jumping and the whatnot, but the explorer buried in my psyche kept prodding my mind with the thought that I have left something undone. Ask my wife how well this feeling sits in my stomach.

Prince of Persia has a heavier emphasis on collecting, since its light seed doodads are the key to reaching new areas rather than an aftertho . . . er, aside for completionists like myself. However, most of them (the early ones, anyway) lie along your travel routes from one place to another, and those off the beaten path take on a puzzle element of sorts as you try to figure out how to get the Prince to them. The de-emphasized combat also means that you can search for light seeds without dudes shooting at you.

Game well this week, and may you face a minimum of dudes shooting at you.

A Melange of Delights

We had company to help us celebrate the new year, which generated much saliva at the prospect of tabletop gaming. I managed to play a game of Bohnanza and several hands of Fluxx with our visitors, but a D&D session was unfortunately not possible. Times like this make me wish I had ponied up the dough for a copy of Ticket to Ride: Europe during my years in Virginia.

On the electronic front, the Xbox 360 and Wii got quite a workout. Between sessions of Boom Blox, LEGO Star Wars II, and FIFA 07 (yes, you read that number correctly), the television saw little time not on an auxiliary input. The multiplayer focus of the past few days has left my Christmas presents languishing in the background, whispering to me from their shelves. They feel threatened by the addition of a new member to the clan; I picked up the new Prince of Persia title this afternoon with the assistance of a Christmas gift card. As I always say, the more wall-running in your life, the merrier.

Game well in this new year, and may every cross lead to a fierce header.

Christmas 10075

I apologize for the title -- I have no idea what came over me.

I found copies of Mirror's Edge and the new handheld Castlevania title under the tree yesterday morning. I have spent more time with the latter thus far for a variety of reasons:

1. The first-person perspective of Mirror's Edge would trigger Sandi's motion sickness within seconds;
   
2. Our television was largely occupied with the copy of Boom Blox I purchased for Sandi;
   
3. The Sci-Fi Channel has been showing marathons of Star Trek: The Next Generation and Highlander for the past two days.
   

I have had to adjust to controlling Faith, as opposed to her puffy-panted inspiration. The ability to jump forward from a wall-run eluded me for the first hour or so, leading to many meetings with the pavement. I mistakenly assumed that a jump from the maneuver would propel me perpendicular to the wall, rather than wherever I happened to be facing. I suppose you live and learn -- and reload.

In the midst of surfing across my usual gaming sites today, I came across this little tidbit. While the game itself will be going away in a couple of months, someone looking for a roleplaying game set outside the realms of fantasy might find it worthwhile. I cannot say for certain, since I have not played the game myself, but Tabula Rasa seemed worth two months at some point. As is usually the case with me and PC gaming, my machine is about one generation of hardware beneath the minimum requirements, so the odds of my sampling the experience are quite low.

Game well this weekend, and may you find the time to enjoy everything that was in your stocking.

Awash in Metalloid Chivalry

Prior to a trip out of town last weekend, I put several more hours into Too Human -- an experience both exhilarating and exasperating. As a microcosm of the game's polarity, I went from cackling with glee as I bounced half a dozen robotic foes into the air to pulling my hair over a camera intent on showing me the enemy I ran past in order to eliminate his ranged support contingent. This shift in mood occurred within a single minute. I still consider the title's bright spots to outshine its shortcomings, but the spread in reviews of the game is more than understandable.

I finally took the time to begin another playthrough of Eternal Darkness while in North Carolina, and I am reminded why I put so much faith in the good folks at Silicon Knights. The sheer depth of the worlds these people construct boggles my mind. However, I ran into a bit of a snag while playing about the only horror game which has ever appealed to me. As I began one of my sessions, the opening screen and its timeless Poe quote was obscured by a disc read error. How long does one wait for a game known for messing with the player prior to punching the reset button?

In closing, I feel compelled to include this:

I wish I could explain why this song enthralls me so. Perhaps the fact that it took me weeks to actually hear the whole thing is responsible, or maybe the style reminds me of Michelle Tumes, for whom I always had a soft spot. Even with more remixes of this song floating through the ether than Square Enix re-releases, I keep finding myself returning.

Game well over the coming holiday, and may you always know when the game has started to play you.

A Wacky Coincidence

Early last week, my dog yanked at his leash and jammed my left thumb into our porch rail. Fortunately, nothing was broken, but the bruising made manipulating a controller somewhat . . . uncomfortable. Working a mouse and keyboard was still painless, though, so my laptop got quite a bit of attention. Since I was not in the mood to root around my disc collection, I decided to take Guild Wars Factions for another spin. I had managed to miss playing the Ranger character class when I played the game before, so I have had a somewhat fresh experience. I like the different spin on traditional fantasy the title presents, and the lack of grind and monthly fees is also appealing.

In the process of playing the introductory portion of the campaign (which, incidentally, has gotten me more than halfway to the level cap), I have received several invitations to join guilds. The longstanding tendencies of my gaming life have driven my responses thus far, combined with a sense of doubt inspired by most of the guild names. I have no idea if I will ever take the plunge on that front, but something tells me I need to do it at some point.

Game well in the coming week, and may each pull bring you epic loot.

A Return to Yore -- of Sorts

I had to attend a commencement ceremony this morning, so I took my Game Boy Advance (the DS batteries were dead) to bide my time awaiting the procession. I dug out my Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls cartridge for the occasion, based on the logic that I could slap around some random encounters and save when it was time to roll. I have spent most of the rest of the day with the gussied-up version of the title that launched a thousand airships. In the process, I noticed a glaring example of a fact which 'serious' gamers have been lamenting for years: stuff ain't as hard as it used to be.

I plowed through the first half of the Earth Cavern today (I think the statute of limitations on spoilers here expired while I was working on my master's degree), and the dungeon is decidedly less deadly than I recall. Rather than facing flocks of petrifying cockatrices and squads of insta-kill sorcerors (my increased maturity now recognizes those abominations as poorly-masked mind flayers), I fought a small army of divers and sundry snakes, with a few of the sorcerors' weaker antecedents sprinkled into the mix. I also noted that my NES 'default party' of fighter, thief, monk, and red mage were at about level twenty-four; if I recall correctly, the old Nintendo Power strategy guide for the game recommended characters at level twenty-six to tackle the final boss. These levels occurred without a massive amount of grinding on my part, aside from garnering the money for equipment upgrades. A part of me recoiled at the game's re-re-release when I learned the the D&D-inspired spell system had been replaced with a modern mana pool, and this does alter the experience.

Do these changes 'taint' what my memory considers the elegance of an old favorite? My heart says no, as I still had fun smacking monsters about the face-analogues and neck-analogues. Perhaps I should rephrase the question: is the maintenance of essentially ancient mechanics necessary to enjoy a classic game? Would I forgive a modern title which clings steadfastly to those same ideals of 'challenge?'

Oh, wait -- I already did.

Game well in the days to come, and may you figure out why all the high-level attack spells seemed so much more important back in the day.