Secrets Nobody was Really Trying to Keep

In all my Too Human gushing and Fallout 3 bashing last time, I forgot to mention a couple of other titles which have kept me occupied over the last couple of weeks. I downloaded the trial version of Ikaruga from Xbox Live, and I have spent a solid couple of hours on the one level which is playable. Seldom do I find myself returning to a game which smacks me so soundly about the face and neck; my friends and family can attest to how well I handle personal failure. However, a part of me knew Ikaruga was going to rake me over the coals of shame. I think that foreknowledge of the game's brutal, yet fair, difficulty somewhat ameliorated my typical fits of worthlessness. Come on -- the very first thing you see in the game is a goofy quote about dying! I have been playing vertical shooters since the NES, and Ikaruga is a joyous return to those pattern-memorizing, button-firing days of constant explosions and continue screens. I particularly like the 'battle report' screen which is displayed after a level is cleared. After over a dozen runs through the demo level, I have yet to achieve a rating better than C++. Clearly I need more practice.

I also downloaded Dungeon Runners, a free-to-play online RPG published by the same folks responsible for the Guild Wars franchise. I have been asked by several people through the years why I never got into World of Warcraft, EverQuest, or other massively-multiplayer games. My short answer is that I cannot get over the hurdle of paying someone every month for continued access to software when new games are constantly being released to draw me away from whatever PC time-sink is the current rage. I know that servers must be maintained and all that, but I have such a limited gaming budget that any online game will most likely become the only gaming experience I can afford. Anyway, I heard about Dungeon Runners while watching G4 a couple of weeks ago, so I downloaded the game and created a character. The gameplay is all right, but I find the main draw is the satirical take on roleplaying at large. From every item carrying absurd descriptors to townsfolk who poke fun at their own lack of motion, the game can never be accused of taking itself too seriously. My personal favorite quote came from the first merchant, who said upon my approach, "You know that town where everyone acts like they're in the Renaissance? Yeah, those guys suck."

Enjoy your weekend, and may your routers not require recycling.